Unstable stability

Very soon it will be 2015 and although I know I have come a long way in 2014 the last couple of days have made me realise just how far I have to go to return to a “normal” life or indeed if I will ever have a “normal” life again. I didn’t get out of bed until about 14:30 today, I didn’t leave the house yesterday and if I’m honest I’m not looking forward to leaving the house tomorrow. But tomorrow I have to leave the house cus I’ve got an appointment with my mental health worker at 14:30 and I’m seeing my psychiatrist at 15:00.

I have definitely come a long way and although everything seems to be moving in the right direction I hate how close the pain of mental illness is to the surface, I hate how easily my stability can be derailed, I hate many things, including my lack of concentration and I definitely hate how much hard work keeping on keeping on is. I know I’m strong enough to keep going and I know 100% I will NEVER give up but I’m very tired from the constant battle.

I know 2015 will be a good year for me, it has to be cus I can’t have another shite year as I have nothing else to lose. I’m know where near that rock bottom that people like to talk about but even though I have come a long way I really haven’t even started the journey of recovery cus that can’t start until my stability is actually stable….Watch Full Movie Online Streaming Online and Download

Short and not so sweet post, not even sure it is worth it.

Having dips is good and bad, the good bit is it reminds you how good the good is when it’s good but the bad bit is it also reminds you how bad the bad bits are when its bad.

Tired of the pain and the ups n downs? Absolutely!!!!

But I KNOW there ain’t nothing I can’t handle…. EVENTUALLY!!!!

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)

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Is this the way forward?

G’day all, hope you’re well?

Please take some time with this post, it’s very important cus this is an opportunity to actually make some positive difference….movie La La Land 2016 streaming

I received a DM off @Daniel_L_Baker a few days ago about his charities new and inspired, crowd funding platform, Depression is not destiny I was happy to receive a DM off Danny because even though we’ve never met and he lives on the other side of the world he is definitely part of my recovery support team. His memoir had a very big effect on me and helped to reignite my fight against the horrendous pain I was in after my mental breakdown in June 2013. I think the best way I can sum up the effect this memoir had on me is by the medium of screen grabs: –

Please take note of the date of this review, 24th October 2013 as it’s quite a significant date for me.

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Again please take note of the date I downloaded Danny’s memoir, 24th October 2013 as it’s quite a significant date for me.

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The pic below is a cropped screen grab from my blogs admin page to show you the date of the first page I published and again please take note of the date it was published, 24th October 2013 as it’s quite a significant date for me.

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It may seem odd for me to be rambling on about stuff from the past in a post entitled “Is this the way forward?” but I thought it was important to set the scene. When I looked at the crowd funding platform on Danny’s website I noticed that one of the projects was a lady called Chazz who is also UK based, for me it’s people like Chazz who are inspirational and brave because she has the guts to ask for help. Asking for help is not easy, especially in such a public way but I think it sums it up, it shows how powerful the web is with helping people’s recovery from depression and mental illness. I got Chazz’s twitter address (@Aries_Model) off Danny and sent her a message asking if I could write about her, I hope you will agree the reply is very powerful and shows how important it is that we write, talk, blog, share about our experiences of recovering from depression, mental illness and in my case alcoholism: –

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I watched Chazz’s video, I urge you to do the same, and I thought back to how horrendously painful life was when I was waiting for some help from the NHS, how desperate I was and I know I would of gotten very close to giving up if I was told there was a 2 year waiting list for any help. You here a lot of people saying the hardest thing is asking for help and yes that is very hard, but in reality with this completely broken and not fit for purpose NHS we have the hardest thing is actually waiting for any help to arrive once you’ve just taken a horrendously painful step of asking for it.

Please take the time to read Chazz’s story and watch her video, any of you out there reading this who have experience of depression, anxiety and mental illness will know how incredibly hard it would have been for Chazz to do the video and write her story. Keep an eye out for what I think is an incredibly powerful and emotional collection of words….

“I want to feel like I have a place in this world”

I know I understand the pain behind those words and I’m pretty sure you do too.

With the appalling state of the NHS system I believe this is a way forward, we should not have to wait 2 years to get some help and although the politicians keep talking about more funding and better turn around times we all know nothing will change quickly cus let’s face it the NHS on the mental health side has been in this state for many years and just continues to get worse. I need to say that I have met some brilliant people in the NHS and when you do get treatment via the NHS it is second to none, but the way the system is setup causes a massive amount of unnecessary very dangerous pain and I also stand very firmly by my belief that I only got the treatment I did and do because I mouthed off on Twitter and made my complaint official, which in itself made me unwell.

Please take the time to check out Daniels website and watch Chazz’s video, read her story and if you can donate. If you can’t donate don’t worry but please share the story and links because this is genuinely an opportunity to help someone get there life back and help them know they do have a place in this world….

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)

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