Just what are those “little steps”?

“Just take little steps”

I’m pretty sure that anyone who’s ever stepped into the world of a mentalist will of heard those words and indeed been annoyed by those words as well.

WTF are little steps??

Well, I’ve been thinking about this today….

Without wishing to become the most whingy whiny person that ever existed I’m gunna mention, again, that this year hasn’t gone well so far, I’ve been in quite a long term low episode and I just don’t seem to be able to get myself out of it. Every time I think “ooh I feel a bit more “normal” today” along comes another wave of miserable’ness and we start all over again.

Even though the “just take little steps” sentence has annoyed me as much as its annoyed you in the past it can be a bloody good starting point. I can pretty much handle anything mental illness throws at me these days cus I know no matter how long it takes I will come out the other side hopefully sooner rather than later. Even though the daily battle seems so fecking pointless at times I know deep down the fecking demons ain’t never gunna beat me completely….

So, these “little steps” we have to take, what are they?

ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU CAN FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT….

Here’s my little steps for today: –

I got out of bed this morning…. I did, I got out of bed at 11:59, this will seem a bit insignificant, but recently I’ve been unable to wake up and get up before the afternoon, yesterday I didn’t wake up until 14:30 and the night before I was in bed and asleep before 21:00. It may seem insignificant but for me today it’s a little step.

I left the house today…. Again this will seem insignificant, but before today (Tuesday) I hadn’t left the house since Friday. I didn’t go far, I’d planned to go for a bit of a drive but I just ended up down the local town centre. I parked up and found it difficult to get out of the car, I got out of the car and instantly wanted to get straight back in. I then simply walked around the outside of town, got back into the car and drove home again.

I’ve ate lunch and tea…. Again pretty insignificant, but sometimes I just can’t be arsed to eat, too much hassle.

I agree, on paper these three “little steps” are pretty insignificant, but I can see the positives. I started writing this post about 15:00 this afternoon and I’ve had to keep coming back to it cus I just can’t concentrate. Hopefully the post above comes across as completely positive even though I’m struggling right now, my noggin is buzzing, I can’t relax, I can’t think straight, all in all I feel pretty shite. The next couple of hours will probably be me fighting the urge to go and hide in bed, cus I’m fairly sure if I go to bed I won’t sleep and that will just wind me up all over again.

The fact that I can hold onto those “little steps” as positives is positive in itself, in a world of nothing but negatives at times any small any tiny seemingly insignificant positive has the chance of sparking more positives and more daily wins.

Keep your eye out for your own “little steps” (warning this is about to get proper cheesy)

image

Keep going ๐Ÿ˜‰

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)




7 thoughts on “Just what are those “little steps”?”

  1. Good morning Jon,

    I too dislike hearing those words “just little steps at a time” even though we know they’re right so well done for getting up at 11.59 and being able to leave the house and walk around town for a while. I’m glad you’ve eaten both lunch and dinner as well (they must have been good ๐Ÿ˜€ ).

    I hope your noggin has stopped buzzing and you are able to sit back with a cup of tea and relax because you have done really well.

    Each of those little steps you have taken have made me smile.

    Oh and if you were referring to the picture and saying it was about to get proper cheesy… well it was a nice kind of cheesy. X

    1. Hi Heather, I thought it was a worthwhile way of looking at that the “little steps” cus they only have to be very little. A “little step” for me today was doing the washing up cus my depressed noggin told me to leave it cus “I can’t be arsed”. Unfortunately my noggin is still buzzing and I can’t really relax but we can handle that, not because we want to but because we have to and we have to handle it so we can get to the nicer stuff. I saw something on FB a couple of days ago that I’ve seen before saying….

      “I’m not living, I’m just surviving”

      I’m pretty sure all us mentalists have thought like that before and no doubt will again, but for me we have to survive to get back to the living part….

      I’m good a cheesy ๐Ÿ™‚

      Keep going ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. As I was reading this, I was thinking…..actually, these are BIG steps. They are important BIG steps and I appreciate exactly what you are saying. Sending my love and hugs. Think of you everyday. xx

    1. Thank you Judy, I think one of my problems at the moment is the neandathol in me is telling me I’m being a wuss. My breakdown was back in June 2013 and I’m still being pathetic. I know Its wrong to use words like wuss and pathetic but that’s the game my noggin is playing at the moment. Today I was in bed until just before 13:00, at first this frustrated me but reengaging the positive part of my mind tells me its better than the day before yesterday. I’m gunna venture out in a bit and see what I can handle, so tonight in between all the uncomfortable stuff going on in my noggin I can think a little bit about “little steps” how ever small they are. At the moment for me it’s all about building back up slowly cus every time I try and “pull myself together” or “get a grip” or “strap on a pair” I just seem to fall back down into the pit of demons….

      Your love and hugs are always received with a big smile, thank you xx

      Keep going ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. This is what I needed I think. Nothing I do is ever enough for me, I always push for more and end up burning out, and I end up back a square one.

    Little steps. It’s infuriating to hear, if the other person doesn’t really know what you’re going through. Hearing “Little steps” from someone else who needs to take little steps, is hopeful and kind of comforting. It’s reassuring.

    Keep up with what you’re doing. The days can be hard, but you are powering through. Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. Hi Maggie, thank you for taking the time to read the blog, when people then take the time to comment it really really helps me and others keep going.

      Nothing I ever do is good enough and never will be, I’m pretty convinced neither of us will ever be satisfied with any achievements in our lives, and if anyone ever gives us a compliment or a pat on the back we just can’t accept it….

      I’m chuffed to bits you find me talking about “little steps” as “hopeful and kind of comforting” cus that’s the point of this and many of the posts and the blog…. I’m just a mentalist talking open and honest and what I hope is my words touch people and make some sense of out absolutely nonsensical lives and wrongly wired noggins….

      Thank you, please keep coming back and comment when you can, it’s my pleasure, I decided to start the blog to share as honestly as I possibly could and that will never change….

      Are you on Twitter?, I’m @exboozehound

      Hope to hear from you again soon.

      Keep going ๐Ÿ˜‰

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