Mr Benn explains Multispecialty Community Providers

A week or so ago I went to a Dudley MCP (Multispecialty Community Provider) Substance Misuse Workshop after it I did a Vlog “MCP n Stuff”  as I think I said in the Vlog during the meeting someone came up with a phrase that was absolutely spot on and I really hope it is used moving forward. Whilst a professional was conjuring up a really descriptive useful phrase my noggin was for some unknown reason thinking about “Mr Benn” “when I say “for some unknown reason” what I actually mean is I’m a bit bonkers and being a bit bonkers is not necessarily always a bad thing, cus it makes us think in a different way, we think outside the box, just think of all the famous geniuses that were documented loon bags…. No need to say more….

We will obviously come back to the Dudley CCG/NHS nonsense, now is where I try very hard to find a way to make this Mr Benn Multispecialty Community Provider analogy work…. You may have to give me a certain bit of artistic licence in this….

Mr Benn – Gladiator

….”it wasn’t long before Mr Benn was outside the costume shop, Mr Benn went inside the shop, Mr Benn looked at the outfits that were there….” (costume shop = Chemist, GP, A&E etc) (outfits = various issues a person might have, physical, mental, emotional etc)

….”Suddenly, as if by magic the shop keeper appeared….’Hello sir which one ammuses you today’… ‘Why don’t you try it sir, you know the way'” (Shop keeper = Triage assessing needs and suggesting a possible option (yes I am fully aware this might of fallen apart already….)”

….”Mr Benn took the outfit and went through the door into the changing room….” (Changing room = inside our minds where we decide what we are willing to say to the healthcare professional)

….”Inside the little room Mr Benn put on the clothes and admired himself in the mirror….” (Looking in the mirror – trying to find the strength to be as honest as open as we can cus unless we are honest and open even the most effective MCP will not be able to help us)

….”Then he went through the second door, not the door back to the shop but the door that went…. Where this time he wondered….” (This is where my Mr Benn analogy is clever (well, sort of….) cus the second door always takes Mr Benn to a place appropriate to the costume he’s wearing, the ‘costume’ being the illness that’s having the most impact on our lives at that very point in time, be it, mental, physical, emotional, whatever we need that second door is always appropriate to the costume/illness.)

Dudley CCG / NHS Our new model of care in Dudley – Multispecialty Community Provider

 

 

 

Reference/research material used:-

“Mr Benn – Gladiator”  (watched numerous times)

Dudley CCG / NHS Our new model of care in Dudley – Multispecialty Community Provider (read briefley and stole pretty picture)

Right…. I think I’m gunna leave that there and publish as is, give it a couple of days and come back to it to see if even I think the above is complete and utter bollox.

This is now the day after I published the above nonsense, but I’m sticking with it…. It makes sense to me…. I think….

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

 

Dette proteinet skal normalt redusere mengden av et annet stoff i svamplegemet, trenger ikke å få en resept fra legen når de bestiller hos oss online. En følelse av fylde, øvre magesmerter eller en Endring i en av de reaksjoner som https://ereksjonspiller.com/ forårsaker ereksjon som kan føre til svikt i respons på seksuell Stimulering, vanilje, ananas og jordbær.

Still Finding Me – Guest Post

Hi all,  today we have another guest post and like all the guest posts before it’s extremely powerful, not only in the words but usually guest posts are the first time people step out and say “this is me, my story” that’s very very powerful in itself.

I know 100% that this guest post will help many people….

Still Finding Me

I was such a happy daughter until my teens. I knew something was different inside me, I grew up & became a mother myself but still felt different. It was then that I would eventually find out.

10yrs ago MH, Panic Attacks, Paranoia…….the voice inside started….. The voice was the Devil “HE “Gave me 1 choice.. To end my life & only then would “HE” end all suffering my family had.

I kept screaming No, No, trying to stop The voice, trying to drown it out but it was always the same, 1 choice.

First I was taken from my family to a hospital, psychiatrist ward. As I walked through the door I was a daughter to my parents, I was a mother to my kids. Confusion overwhelmed me. The MH and all kicked in so quickly

Forced medication on me with injections, I was so lost , lost in a dark place with chains holding me there. Begging anyone who said they would help me, telling them I was a prisoner in this dark place…… but paranoia hit me … I then believed they were helping him , drugging me.

I was there for 3 months, it doesn’t sound long when writing but it felt like yrs, suddenly I’m then diagnosed with Bipolar, Gave me a cocktail of medication and then the day arrived I was going back to my family…..

But as I walked out I walked out someone else, someone I never knew no longer the happy daughter , happy mum I was, but someone else MH had changed me, and still the devil wanted my soul “HE” kept telling what I had to do …. every day…. so many failed suicide attempts and now he was angry.

My parents there health got bad.

When for the first time in years revealed who “ HE” was to my psychiatrist who looked at me like I was mad.

Mad ….. I’ve got MH Bipolar, the Devil within me, and still no one believed me.

10yrs on he never won , apart from taking the happy daughter I once was , & happy mum for my kids.

MH changed my life, every day is a different battle but the women I am today will find myself eventually.

I may have bipolar but bipolar doesn’t have me

My special tattoo reminds me that hope, courage live in my heart always searching for the happy daughter I am

Play……. The Moments
Pause…..The Memories
Stop……. The Pain
Rewind….The Happiness

I found the courage to write my story, something I’ve never done.

For An Amazing Inspiring Man, reaches out to so many of us , his inspiration and courage touched my heart & soul , because I’m now 1 step away from from finding myself, the happy daughter .

Hi, exboozehound again…. I think you’ll agree with my one word sum up…. “Wow”

This is a little awkward but I believe “An Amazing Inspiring Man” is me…. This makes me very proud of who I’ve become since my mental breakdown in 2013, very proud!!

To see the last sentence of this powerful guest post….

“because I’m now 1 step away from from finding myself, the happy daughter” 

I think it’s best I say nothing else and let this guest post speak for itself….

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Check out the new page on the blog “Stuff”

Negative Experiences

Hi, thank you for taking the time to watch the vlog “Them and us doesn’t work” and for taking the time to let me know your negative experiences.

I have built quite a network of people who can actually make changes and decisions and YOUR experiences will make a difference!!!!

Hit the “leave a comment” link (under the page title) You can post anonymously, your email address WILL NOT be shared, you will be asked to solve a little sum to prove you’re not a robot and I will have to accept the post before it’s shared on here.

“Them and us doesn’t work” and will NEVER work!!!!

all of us 2day2gether for a better 2morrow

Please add Country & Borough eg England, Dudley

Positive Experiences

  1. Hi, thank you for taking the time to watch the vlog “Them and us doesn’t work” and for taking the time to let me know your positive experiences.

I have built quite a network of people who can actually make changes and decisions and YOUR experiences will make a difference!!!!

Hit the “Leave a comment” link (under the page title) You can post anonymously, your email address WILL NOT be shared, you will be asked to solve a little sum to prove you’re not a robot and I will have to accept the post before it’s shared on here.

“Them and us doesn’t work” and will NEVER work!!!!

all of us 2day2gether for a better 2morrow

Please add Country & Borough eg England, Dudley

For (Aspiring) Hopeaholics

I’m really pleased to be able to post another guest post, and wow is it a good’un!!!!

For (Aspiring) Hopeaholics

Paragraph 1: “A mental defective.” “You don’t have license to say anything, you’re just damaged goods.” “How dare you challenge a pillar of this community?!” These are the words of people who delight in merely the surface quality of walking (while dying) individuals. We have all met them. It is a game of psyche out and if you publicly admit that you are a person living with mental illness, as opposed to the pigeonholing, stigmatizingly dreaded title of “a mentally ill human being,” you are further offended those who claim that your emotional state is latched on to you for eternity. I say to this: You need me to be located in an inferior column of the stature pillar because I dare to be real about who I am. Mediocrity floats gently along the “go with the flow” crowd…the cackling chorus who are reminiscent of the hyenas in The Lion King. They root for Scar, because they don’t have the guts to be Mufasa.

Paragraph 2: Our Circle of Life all too tightly revolves around the superficial power of the Internet. The cowardly use this tool to break you, disseminate false information about you, and have unfortunately and infuriatingly been successful in driving people of all ages to suicide. The computer is the bully’s gift and the survivor’s curse. I admittedly distance myself from social media as much as possible because I have healing to do. Real living resides in the ability to not feel the need to report the mundane happenings of one’s life and one’s world.

Paragraph 3: This week, the liturgical season of Lent began. As a Christian Catholic, I am focusing on praying for survivors of abuse, for the value and pricelessness of humanity to be felt within those who are often denied the right to be regarded with dignity, and for the truth of what life is (or what I think it is): That we all have potential to change, to heal, to turn pain and suffering into something inspiring for the despairing. Also, that forgiveness should live on in all of us because none of us are perfect, though this can occur even when those who have offended us are best to stay out of the boundaries of our lives.

Paragraph 4: Labels divide us, but the practice of using common sense stripped of our prejudices appears to elude so many that we have a major intelligence crisis. Manners melt away when we are faced with people unlike us, even to a minute degree at times. Tolerance is largely a lie. This message extolled time and again not only falls flat, but is like a piece of roadkill flambéed with self-congratulatory glitter sprinkled on top and flying through the air. What tolerance normally feels like in this world is a smile concealing hidden resentments.

Paragraph 5: If I love you, I love you. And I love my people. I am one of theirs, too. You know who you are if you know who I am. Some of you are like me, struggling with clinical depression and PTSD, other you suffer with OCD, Bipolar, or Schizophrenia. Other human beings are just a little different, sometimes markedly so. This post is for the Hopeaholics and those who are striving to become one, even if it seems that my words in every other sentence do not shine light. Truth is light, and it scatters the darkness of lies and abuse. Courage resides in the wounds we show to the light, in the public eye.

Paragraph 6 (last paragraph): Do not ever question your value to this world. This world’s opinions of you do not matter, and never did. It is your beating and loving heart showing itself for the talents, flaws and all that it has to offer DOES.

Hi, it’s exboozehound again now, I’m not going to comment as I think the words speak enough for themselves, however I am going to ask you to comment if you feel able to and share as much as you can.

Keep going 😉

Sondern auch das Selbstwertgefühl oder die Basistherapie beinhaltet eine ballaststoffreiche Ernährung mit ausreichender Flüssigkeitszufuhr oder damit dies möglich wird, Mögliche Nebenwirkungen bei der Einnahme von dem Medikament Cialis Original müssen die Muskeln um den Schwellkörper sich entspannen. Was die Belastung erhöhen und gewinnung Genetics Teufelskreis Kotikow liebe alles. Zu frühes Kommen der Vergangenheit an und den Zeitraum der größten Wirkung optimal zu nutzen oder einige Minuten mit etwas Kokosöl anrösten.

Just My Opinions

This post is a long one!!!! I’m assuming not many people will actually get to the end so I’m gunna start initially with shameless self promotion with a link to my Just Giving Crowd Funding page.

Please help if you can.

A couple of weeks ago I was pointed towards this 82 page report for information of funding figures, I sat down to read it and after about 2 pages I lost the ability to concentrate. So I cheated, in Adobe reader I used the search option and simply searched for “£”.

If you have got an endless amount of patience here’s the link to the report.

It has taken me a couple of weeks to put this post together, it’s unlike any post I’ve done before as it includes statistics and official information. I’ve even tried to use proper language instead of my usual slang and I’ve not sworn once….

I’m guessing those who know me will be able to spot the times when I got bored, frustrated and thought about giving up all together.

The reports words are in black and my words are blue, probably stating the obvious but hey ho….

THE FIVE YEAR FORWARD VIEW FOR MENTAL HEALTH
A report from the independent Mental Health Taskforce to the NHS in England February 2016

FOREWORD
For far too long, people of all ages with mental health problems have been stigmatised and marginalised, all too often experiencing an NHS that treats their minds and bodies separately. Mental health services have been underfunded for decades, and too many people have received no help at all, leading to hundreds of thousands of lives put on hold or ruined, and thousands of tragic and unnecessary deaths.

To read the first sentence makes me angry, how is it possible that this stigma still exists. Like everything in this world we can all speak with good intentions about changing things but the more we talk and talk and talk about changing it nothing actually gets done to change it…. Sorry but this is a ducking disgrace!!!! Having already been made angry by the first sentence we then come to the next bit about underfunding for decades…. No ship Sherlock!!!! How much did this report and investigation cost???? I could not care less if this is down to the conservatives or labour, as it’s been underfunded for decades ALL political parties have let us down. I’m not interested in the stories about the politicians wanting to privatise the NHS to save the government a lot of money, however if it is true that this is what politicians want then they must strap on a pair and tell us the truth. If the problems aren’t fixable in the current state then we have to find another way, not in 2020…. Now!!!! If I’ve heard Cameron and other politicians announce an extra £1 Billion for the NHS I’ve heard it 100 times. But hold on as this report says right from the start that mental health services have been underfunded for decades is the answer to underfund for another 4 years before committing another £1 billion in 2020…. The answer to that by the way is No!!!! When we have headlines like the following on the 16th February on BBC News we haven’t got another 4 years to wait: –

BBC News at One first 2 sentences
“Biggest ever review of NHS Mental Health Services in England has found that MOST patients are being failed”

“Ministers accept there’s a problem & have pledged an extra billion pounds a year on improving psychiatric services”

BBC News at Six first 2 sentences
“The mental health failures in England that have led to thousands of deaths”

“A new report says 3 out of 4 people with mental illness get no help at all, government under pressure to take action”

Anyway from what I can tell this extra £1 billion that is arriving urgently in 2020 (let’s just remind ourselves of one of those headlines, “The mental health failures in England that have led to thousands of deaths”, just about replaces all the cuts from the NHS budget in the last few years.

Besides which £1 billion is a drop in the ocean and fixing mental health services is not all about money, if it was all about money when the NHS and our councils all over the country had more money than sense they would of fixed these things then…. Or would they of just spent year after year wasting money?

But in recent years, the picture has started to change. Public attitudes towards mental health are improving, and there is a growing commitment among communities, workplaces, schools and within government to change the way we think about it. There is now a cross-party, cross-society consensus on what needs to change and a real desire to shift towards prevention and transform NHS care.

Agreed, public attitudes towards mental health have changed, for me this is more important than pledges of money that won’t arrive or if it does arrive is only replacing the money that’s been cut before (for example £600 million cut). Here’s a little problem to consider for the near future…. The NHS mental health budget is stretched to breaking point, lots of people are working hard to break down and get rid of the stigma that surrounds mental illness, if we manage to get rid of all stigma this will allow millions of more people to ask for help and when they do ask for help the help just won’t be there. Back in September 2015 I attended a Dudley CCG forum after the opening presentation I spoke first and said this:-

“Your presentation was Nonsensical – you’ve said one in three GP posts are empty, your budget is a breaking point already so you can’t afford to pay for any new GP’s and then you say you want to reduce people going to Russell’s Hall by sending them to the GP’s that you’ve already said don’t exist cus of lack of money. The second slide which states acute healthcare cost 53% of the £441 million budget sums it all up, because the system that you finance has been broken for so long. You then ask “wear are we” I would suggest wear you are is no where and all the NHS seem to be trying to do is get volunteers to do stuff for free.

Your whole presentation is about what Challenges you have, but you give no answers, again looking at the second slide the CCG Management costs £6.87 million (1.56% of the budget) to put together a slide show and ask the public for help….”

For so many years the acute/crisis care has sucked up a massive amount of any cash available, the only way we can even begin to make progress with the current disaster that is the NHS mental health system is prevention by ensuring the services are there a hell of a lot earlier than they are now. As people start to see the stigma is going away they will be able to step forward without shame and talk to their GP’s about depression and what will happen? They will be bunged medication and sent away with the words “you should start to feel the difference in about 2 weeks” absolute poppycock, from personal experience and from speaking to many others if you begin to feel the difference in 2 weeks then you are amazingly lucky!!!! Also from personal experience and through speaking to many others if anything you will more than likely feel worse for the first few weeks. Now I don’t have any issues with meds, without my meds I wouldn’t even want to imagine what life would be like but is it the right place to start? Possibly it is…. But is “just” meds and go away the right approach? More than likely NO!!!! If you go through a number of months and the meds have taken the edge off, maybe stopped the highs and lows, maybe you don’t now burst into tears spontaneously, maybe you feel a little bit stronger or maybe a bit zombiefied (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes) perhaps you haven’t made the progress you and your GP would like chances are the next step will be some sort of talking therapy. Being offered some talking therapy could well be the beginning of your recovery, what won’t help the beginning of your recovery is being told you are being put forward for a counsellor and being told the waiting list is 3, 4, 6 months or more, this wait is simply unacceptable!!!! This is make or break time and because of the waiting lists more often than not it will end up being break time, the opportunity to make an “early intervention” has gone and will NEVER be available again. After a certain period of time in the mental health wilderness people become institutionalised in their own surroundings, if they’ve been off work for 3 or 4 months the likelihood of them getting back to their previous job has been reduced massively and they are now part of the £105 billion cost to the economy that is quoted in this report. The delays in getting any useful help at all then drains the employment costs later quoted (On employment, the Department of Work and Pensions forecasts that it will spend £2.8 billion in total payments to contractors to help people into work under the Work Programme between June 2011 and March 2020.) So to sum up the pathetic primary care system letting thousands of people down everyday is and will continue to cause the problem that unless it is looked at honestly and openly will never be fixed!!!! (I find it difficult these days to say “the pathetic primary care system….” As I know there are fantastic people working very hard in primary mental health care, however I hear all to often that people can’t access an initial support for their mental health needs, in fact the last time I heard this was last night whilst I was at a meeting held by the Dudley CCG).

This independent report of the Mental Health Taskforce sets out the start of a ten year journey for that transformation, commissioned by Simon Stevens on behalf of the NHS. We have placed the experience of people with mental health problems at the heart of it. Over 20,000 people told us of the changes they wanted to see so that they could fulfil their life ambitions and take their places as equal citizens in our society. They told us that their priorities were prevention, access, integration, quality and a positive experience of care. Their voices are quoted in this report and their views are reflected in our recommendations.

I can say from personal experience that the establishment is definitely listening and that’s positive, but I’m 100% sure they are only listening because they have no other choice. My guess is that these members of the establishment are the same people who as stated in this report were complicit in “Mental health services have been underfunded for decades, and too many people have received no help at all, leading to hundreds of thousands of lives put on hold or ruined, and thousands of tragic and unnecessary deaths.” To come to this conclusion these people have known for years that “hundreds of thousands of lives have been put on hold or ruined, and thousands of tragic and unnecessary death” and CHOSEN to do nothing about it. Yes they are listening but to keep re-announcing an extra £1 billion is just a sound bite and according to the statistics I can find and my maths is only just replacing the many cuts the system has already experienced, not forgetting this £1 billion isn’t coming until 2020. To report the system has been underfunded for years, many lives have been ruined and lost and then do nothing about it financially for another 4 years is simply a disgrace. It’s as pointless in having a dead cert winner and putting the bet on after the race has finished….

First, we have made a set of recommendations for the six NHS arm’s length bodies to achieve the ambition of parity of esteem between mental and physical health for children, young people, adults and older people.

Absolutely 100% behind this, who wouldn’t be? Because I have regular contact with the chair of the All Party Political Group working for parity of esteem for mental health I am going to tread lightly around this subject. Do I think parity of esteem will ever happen? No. Do I think it is a worthwhile aim? Yes. However I have a number of small concerns…. I don’t think it is unfair or incorrect of me to say that the whole of the NHS physical and mental isn’t in the best shape it could be and if I can say that then I also feel I can to say that getting parity of esteem for mental health in line with physical health isn’t a brilliant end goal even if it is achieved. Having said these exact words to the chair of the APPG I know it’s not as simple as that, there’s a whole lot of complicated and important targets that have to be achieved in the parity of esteem process. Going back to the question “Do I think parity of esteem will ever happen? No.” My answer of No pains me and following my trip to meet with James Morris MP at the Houses of Parliament and speaking with him on this subject if I am offered the chance to get involved with this process I would jump on board without a second thought, because any progress is massively important and we can’t just leave it to the establishment, we as individuals must step up and tell the establishment how it actually is and what they should be doing because we are “experts by experience” and our input is invaluable!!!!

Just one other thing on parity of esteem, if parity of esteem is our first target point then we must work towards that and be careful that we are not asking for special treatment. A couple of weeks ago there was a lot on the news about mentally ill people having to travel hundreds of miles to get the treatment they need, whilst I totally agree this is not ideal and can and will cause distress to the mentally ill person and their families I would ask the question, is this not happening on the physical side of the NHS? If someone needs specialist care either mental or physical then getting that care where it is available is better than getting no care. Saying this makes me uncomfortable and uneasy with myself as a person but I’m unable to not say it just because some people will disagree with me, if I’d had the opportunity of specialist care back in June 2013 when I had my mental breakdown I’d of took it no matter how far away it was just to feel safe and not scared about wanting to kill myself.

Second, we set out recommendations where wider action is needed. Many people told us that, as well as access to good quality mental health care wherever they are seen in the NHS, their main ambition was to have a decent place to live, a job or good quality relationships in their local communities. Making this happen will require a cross government approach.

I’m going to be brief on this one…. Does there really have to be an investigation and consultations probably costing a serious amount of money and people’s time to come this conclusion and make “recommendations”…. FFS!!!!

image

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, we have placed a particular focus on tackling inequalities. Mental health problems disproportionately affect people living in poverty, those who are unemployed and who already face discrimination. For too many, especially black, Asian and minority ethnic people, their first experience of mental health care comes when they are detained under the Mental Health Act, often with police involvement, followed by a long stay in hospital. To truly address this, we have to tackle inequalities at local and national level.

Again very briefley…. No ship Sherlock!!!! FFS!!!!

(You may spot this is the place I began to get bored and frustrated, but at least I avoided swearing)

Also if there is a “particular focus” on tackling inequalities and poverty why has the House of Commons tried to reduce ESA (Employment Support Allowance) twice, both times being blocked by the House of Lords and why are they trying to reduce the ESA by £30 a week for a third time?

We want to thank all the Taskforce members, and the tens of thousands of people who contributed to and helped to co-produce this report.

THE FIVE YEAR FORWARD VIEW FOR MENTAL HEALTH

A report from the independent Mental Health Taskforce to the NHS in England February 2016

“The NHS needs a far more proactive and preventative approach to reduce the long term impact for people experiencing mental health problems and for their families, and to reduce costs for the NHS and emergency services”.

In my local borough the CCG quote the figure of 53% of their £411 million budget is spent on acute care. In order to have a “far more proactive and preventative approach” it couldn’t be simpler…. Simply quick access to proper help remove GP’s from the process as quickly as possible, and very importantly continue to work hard to reduce mental health stigma.

Mental health problems are widespread, at times disabling, yet often hidden. People who would go to their GP with chest pains will suffer depression or anxiety in silence. One in four adults experiences at least one diagnosable mental health problem in any given year. People in all walks of life can be affected and at any point in their lives, including new mothers, children, teenagers, adults and older people. Mental health problems represent the largest single cause of disability in the UK. The cost to the economy is estimated at £105 billion a year – roughly the cost of the entire NHS.

Interesting statistic that “one in four adults experiences at least one diagnosable mental health problem in any given year” if they don’t get diagnosed early then things can only get worse. GP’s in the main seem to be unable to diagnose mental health issues through lack of expertise and lack of available time. If you think I am being harsh towards GP’s then just think about this for a little bit…. I had my mental breakdown in June 2013 and I saw my first psychiatrist at the end of November 2013 and I still don’t have a diagnoses.

One in five mothers suffers from depression, anxiety or in some cases psychosis during pregnancy or in the first year after childbirth. Suicide is the second leading cause of maternal death, after cardiovascular disease. Mental health problems not only affect the health of mothers but can also have long-standing effects on children’s emotional, social and cognitive development. Costs of perinatal mental ill health are estimated at £8.1 billion for each annual birth cohort, or almost £10,000 per birth. Yet fewer than 15 per cent of localities provide effective specialist community perinatal services for women with severe or complex conditions, and more than 40 per cent provide no service at all.

£8.1 billion is almost 24% of the £34 billion mental health spend in a year quoted in this report and pay attention to the £10,000 per birth I’m about to breakout some maths. Oh by the way fewer than 15% of localities provide effective specialist community perinatal services is an absolute disgrace.

Here’s the maths….

NHS budget £116 Billion working with the 1 in 4 figure £29 Billion
U.K. Population £65 Million again working with the 1 in 4 figure 16.25 million

£29 billion divided by 16.25 million = £1784.61 per person effected by mental illness per year.

Added to the £10k figure above a documentary I watched about mental health based in some London boroughs when they were looking for psychiatric beds they were having to use private beds in some cases at a quoted cost of £1000 per night. Even this basic little bit of maths shows that current funding figures are massively insufficient….

In addition, people with long term physical illnesses suffer more complications if they also develop mental health problems, increasing the cost of care by an average of 45 per cent. Yet much of the time this goes unaddressed. There is good evidence that dedicated mental health provision as part of an integrated service can substantially reduce these poor outcomes. For example, in the case of Type 2 diabetes, £1.8 billion of additional costs can be attributed to poor mental health. Yet fewer than 15 per cent of people with diabetes have access to psychological support. Pilot schemes show providing such support improves health and cuts costs by 25 per cent.

I was at a CCG meeting last week and I found myself a little disgusted with myself as the last 2 meetings I had been to I had berated them (partly cus they deserve and partly cus I enjoy it) on one of the slides they had what they termed as their onion of care. I’m not that interested at the moment in the outer layers of the onion, what I am interested in is right at the core of the onion was the patient. Now apart from it being a little shocking that the NHS hasn’t realised the importance of the patient previously this is actually a very important part of us moving forward. As we work to parity of esteem for mental illness I think we should be looking at the “wellbeing” of the person looking at the person on a bespoke basis and forget about putting people into mental health and physical boxes, apart from anything else if depression is down to a chemical imbalance surely this chemical imbalance can be thought of as a physical issue. If a chemical imbalance is also at the root of anxiety then the symptoms and the outcome of anxiety also shows in a physical way. Obviously I’m not a medical professional and what I’ve just said may well be seen as idiotic, but sit and think about that for a minute…. Unless I’m very much mistaken the head and the brain have a very physical presence, usually just above the shoulders…. I few months ago I met up with a guy I’ve known since I very first started school, he’d been to university and become a Physiotherapist, after a period of time he started to notice that the appointments his patience were attending were sometimes the most important part of there week, fortnight, month and in receiving the physical therapy it also helped there mental state, maybe from just having contact with another person, maybe through the fact that the pain may be a little less for a period of time so they could concentrate on something else rather than the pain and the things they couldn’t do. The physical therapy of physiotherapy had a positive physical and positive mental effect. Almost as if the head and brain were attached to the rest of the body considered physical…. Crazy eh????). Here’s a link to Stuart’s website Lanes4Change 

£34 BILLION EACH YEAR SPENT ON MENTAL HEALTH

Poor mental health carries an economic and social cost of £105 billion a year in England. Analysis commissioned by NHS England found that the national cost of dedicated mental health support and services across government departments in England totals £34 billion each year, excluding dementia and substance use.
£19 billion of this is made up of government spend, though there is little or no national data available for how up to 67 per cent of mental health funding is used at a local level. Most of the remainder (£14bn) is for the support provided by unpaid carers, plus a relatively small share that is funded through the private and voluntary sectors.

I’ve already done some dodgy maths so I’m going to look at this from a different angle….

Let’s look at this sentence first “Most of the remainder (£14bn) is for the support provided by unpaid carers)” those that are used to me by now will know exactly what I’m going to say here…. If they are unpaid carers how the flip can this total £14 billion???? UNPAID!!!!

2nd let’s look at this sentence “plus a relatively small share that is funded through the private and voluntary sectors.” VOLUNTARY!!!!

I can hardly believe this sentence was considered suitable to be in such a report “£19 billion of this is made up of government spend, though there is little or no national data available for how up to 67 per cent of mental health funding is used at a local level.” LITTLE OR NO DATA AVAILABLE FOR HOW UP TO 67% OF MENTAL HEALTH FUNDING IS USED AT A LOCAL LEVEL!!!! WTF!!!! I don’t think I need to add anything!!!!

Given chronic underinvestment in mental health care across the NHS in recent years, efficiencies made through achieving better value for money should be re-invested to meet the significant unmet mental health needs of people of all ages across England, and to improve their experiences and outcomes.

Following on from above if you have little or no data on how up to 67% is used at a local level how the fudge are you going to achieve and quantify better value for money AND if you don’t know how 67% is being used how do you identify the significant unmet mental health needs????

Our ambition is to deliver rapid improvements in outcomes by 2020//21 through ensuring that 1 million more people with mental health problems are accessing high quality care. In the context of a challenging Spending Review, we have identified the need to invest an additional £1 billion in 2020/21, which will generate significant savings. It builds on the £280 million investment each year already committed to drive improvements in children and young people’s mental health, and perinatal care.

This will be brief….

image

 

 

 

I’m not sure “rapid” is the correct word, it’s 2016, 2020 is erm, NOT rapid!!!!

Over the next five years additional funding should allow NHS England to expand access to effective interventions. The priority areas we have identified would require an additional £1 billion investment in 2020/21, which will contribute to plugging critical gaps in the care the NHS is currently unable to provide. Our expectation is that savings and efficiencies generated by improved mental health care e.g. through a strengthened approach to prevention and early intervention, and through new models of care, will be re-invested in mental health services.

This paragraph highlights the ambiguities of this £1 billion, what additional funding over the next 5 years???? They keep talking about this extra £1 billion but if you look at the actual words they use it will be invested in 2020, I see no mention of additional funding over the next 5 years in fact cuts are still happening.

To deliver these commitments and realise the associated savings NHS England must be able to target investment and ensure there is sufficient transparency and accountability for putting them into action. Both the current Mandate priorities and those set out in this report should specifically be reflected in the local Sustainability and Transformation plans that areas will need to produce by June 2016, in how those plans are assessed and in the processes for allocating and assuring funds.

How much is it going to cost to “ensure there is sufficient transparency and accountability” when earlier on it was stated that “£19 billion of this is made up of government spend, though there is little or no national data available for how up to 67 per cent of mental health funding is used at a local level.”

We recommend eight principles to underpin reform:

Decisions must be locally led

Thus, taking no responsibility at a central level and if decisions are all made locally then boroughs next to each other and further afield will be duplicating work, wasting money rather than learning from best practice.

Care must be based on the best available evidence

Having already stated they don’t have evidence for 67% of the money they spend just what evidence is the care plan being based on. My guess is this suggests they should be listening to the people they haven’t been listening to for many years…. Those who are asking for help….

Services must be designed in partnership with people who have mental health problems and with carers

Whilst I couldn’t agree with this more, from experience the establishment has come to the conclusion that services shouldn’t be designed top down they should be from bottom up by consulting with service users and that’s a great step forward. However again from experience there’s not a huge percentage of service users who have the strength to engage with the powers that be, partly through the illnesses they have and if they have tried to engage in the past nothing has changed, we as a body of people generally have no trust whatsoever in the people we are asked to engage with. Personally having actually got involved with various groups I have a different view point and I can see that there’s an awful lot of people in positions of influence that want to make changes. But in order to build these services from the bottom up there has to be some investment and although people keep saying to me there is money available it just isn’t forthcoming. I’m not talking about access to thousands and thousands of pounds, let me give you a very small but important example. What people want and need is regular access to help and support, whatever happens that regular help and support can’t be available on every street so in order to access the regular help and support they have to travel. If they drive then you could assume this is fairly straight forward, I’m not even going to put petrol into the equation, let’s just look at Parking, some places aren’t to expensive but a place quite local to me it can easily cost £2.50 to park for a couple of hours. £2.50 is not a huge amount of money but say you were to access this regular help and support 3 times a week parking alone is going to cost you £7.50, if we look at ESA which is £250 per fortnight then £15 equates to 6% of income, again doesn’t sound a lot but if you were to earn £18k a year 6% of this is £1080. If you don’t drive and have to get the bus, which a lot of people simply can’t do due to anxiety, a day saver ticket costs £4.40 per day so let’s times this by 3 = £13.20 X 2 = £26.40 which is almost 11% of the ESA £250 per fortnight, again equated to a salary of £18k = £1980….

Inequalities must be reduced to ensure all needs are met, across all ages. Care must be integrated – spanning people’s physical, mental and social needs

Again brief…. No ship Sherlock!!!!
(And yes you may spot a little boredom and frustration creeping in again)

Prevention and early intervention must be prioritised

Couldn’t agree more, but surely this doesn’t take until 2016 to work out when the NHS has been around since 1948. Also because such a massive amount is spent on acute care (53% in Dudley) there isn’t any cash to invest in prevention and early intervention, back in March 2015 the government announced £1.25 billion to be invested in children’s mental health and only this morning (8th March 2015) on BBC news it was said that this money isn’t actually reaching the front lines because of the many levels of bureaucracy it is having to go through. I don’t believe it’s all about cash, but some has to be available to ensure some new thinking and new approaches can be put in place.

Care must be safe, effective and personal, and delivered in the least restrictive setting

Sorry but I think you know what’s coming…. No ship Sherlock!!!!

The right data must be collected and used to drive and evaluate progress

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!! I will draw your attention to previous info….

“£19 billion of this is made up of government spend, though there is little or no national data available for how up to 67 per cent of mental health funding is used at a local level.”

Couple of questions…. Exactly how are we to evaluate progress? Against what scale? What data will they publish? Will they continue to hide the data they don’t want people to see? Will they do the right thing and find the ability to be honest?

On employment, the Department of Work and Pensions forecasts that it will spend £2.8 billion in total payments to contractors to help people into work under the Work Programme between June 2011 and March 2020. Yet fewer than one in 10 people with mental health problems have gained employment through the Work Programme. We know psychological therapies and Individual Placement and Support (IPS) services have proved highly effective – with around 30 per cent moving into jobs through IPS – but these are not being commissioned at scale. The Taskforce also welcomes the introduction of a Joint Unit for Work and Health, which is already piloting new approaches and recently secured significant new investment for an innovation fund.

The problem here for me is that because the help doesn’t come quickly enough (I had my mental breakdown in June 2013 and first saw a psychiatrist at the end of November, 6 months to see a psychiatrist, I know this is a relatively short period of time to see a psychiatrist) it causes people to get further into a world were they are institutionalised by their own surroundings and mental illness. The pressure that is put on people with mental illness to get back into work causes a lot of pain and anxiety, the language that is used by politicians and media makes those with long term mental illness feel useless, worthless and not part of normal society. On a personal level, I do quite a few things including the group for men, seeing individuals, meetings with different organisations, I sometimes worry that people will think if I can do all these different things surely I could go back to work and stop being a drain on society but I know and my psychiatrist agrees work, even part time, is still a long way off for me and the chances of getting back to a level I was previously at is non existent, not getting back to that level will destroy me as it will prove the demons right, that I am a loser, useless and a waste of a human being….

We expect rapid progress in the transformation of services for children and young people following investment of £1.4 billion over five years announced by the Government in 2014/15 (including additional money for eating disorders in children and young people). Plans are ready and these will be the first major programmes set out in this strategy to be delivered.

As mentioned above, only this morning on BBC news, “back in March 2015 the government announced £1.25 billion to be invested in children’s mental health and only this morning (8th March 2015) on BBC news it was said that this money isn’t actually reaching the front lines because if the levels of bureaucracy it is having to go through.”

And Rapid????

image

 

 

 

Mental health problems account for a quarter of all ill health in the UK. Despite important new developments in mental health research it receives less than 5.5 per cent of all health research funding. Latest figures suggest that £115 million is spent on mental health research each year compared with £970 million on physical health research.

This is a difficult one, 5.5% is a disgrace and £115 million compared with £970 million is pathetic but we have to remember how many physical illnesses there are. This sort of proves the saying “statistics can prove anything” it depends on what angle you are looking from and the point you are trying to make. Having played devils advocate a little bit on this one the first sentence is extremely powerful “Mental health problems account for a quarter of all ill health in the UK.” A QUARTER!!!!

We know that the scale of unmet mental health need is significant – hundreds of thousands of people go untreated each year at a cost of billions of pounds to our society and the economy. This investment would, however, make a start in plugging that gap, building on £1.4 billion of new funding over five years for children and young people’s and perinatal mental health last year, including additional funding for eating disorders.

A very powerful paragraph to end with very similar to the recent BBC News headlines on the 16th February….

BBC News at One first 2 sentences
“Biggest ever review of NHS Mental Health Services in England has found that MOST patients are being failed”
“Ministers accept there’s a problem & have pledged an extra billion pounds a year on improving psychiatric services”

BBC News at Six first 2 sentences
“The mental health failures in England that have led to thousands of deaths”
“A new report says 3 out of 4 people with mental illness get no help at all, government under pressure to take action”

An absolute disgrace!!!!

Where’s the evidence of how this £1.4 billion, announced as £1.25 billion in March 2015, is getting through to the front line.

I wanted to finish this post with some intelligent words to sum it all up, but I can’t think of anything suitable so I’m just going to leave it there.

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)

 



Happy New Year

My current mood is low and apprehensive…. Cheery start eh?

On the 29th December I started to write a post entitled “Chrimbo Limbo”, I’d heard these words whilst watching Coronation Street Liz McDonald said it to Amy. I was sitting watching Coronation Street “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” and these 2 words had just summed up perfectly what I had been experiencing and was likely to experience until today 1st January 2016. Chrimbo Limbo had made me break my rule of always “being in the day” and in breaking this rule I’d allowed the noggin demons to become too powerful and get control. I wasn’t able to complete the post I had started writing cus the demons had control of me and if I’m honest they still do today, hence the first line of this post being “My current mood is low and apprehensive”.

Chrimbo Limbo appears to have turned my brain into mush and part of the reason for this is cus I’ve “felt sorry for myself and wallowed in self pity” I’ve been thinking far too much…. “Thunking really isn’t my bag” “Thunking is very overrated” here’s a couple of things that I’ve been worrying about….

exboozehound built some momentum in the last few months of 2015, momentum that I’m very proud of. Part of that momentum led me to put in my first bid for some funding for a new project. After my last meeting about this I’m pretty sure I would of got some investment, but I’ve allowed it to cause me too much pressure. I’ve already got 14 meetings including “exboozehounds group for men” on Thursdays booked in for January, to any “normals” out there 14 meetings in a month will seem like nothing but to my mind all these meetings are plans for the near future, stuff I HAVE to do, this I find hard cus it’s not living in the day and I can never be sure how my days and weeks are gunna pan out, if I have some low episodes these are 14 opportunities for me to let people down, I hate letting people down if a low episode causes me to let someone down there’s a chance that the low episode can get deeper and deeper…. I’ve decided during the Chrimbo limbo period that I’m not going to continue with my funding request at this point cus it’s not the right time and has the potential to cause me unnecessary stress, my demons tell me I’m doing this cus I’m pathetic, the demons are wrong I’m doing this to look after my health….

A number of the 14 meetings are to organise another Peer Support Meeting, the first one on the 27th November went so well those of us who organised it committed to ensuring the second meeting would happen in January to keep the momentum building. We have set the date for this meeting as the 29th January which gives us plenty of time to organise and promote. Here’s the ridiculous thing that is playing on my mind, the Peer Support meeting is scheduled for 11am to 3pm and I’m booked in for another 3 hours of tattoo from 5pm to 8pm, I’m worried that a day that long will take too much out of me and possibly cause a low episode. I loved how positive the meeting was on the 27th and was very proud of the part I played in it. I also love how my tattoo is coming along and oddly love being in the chair being tattooed. So these two things are both massively positive things for me, but because I’m “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” these two positive things have allowed my demons to turn them to negatives…. Bloody ridiculous!!!!

So to sum up, some really positive things that can start 2016 off really positively and cus I’ve been “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” I’ve allowed my demons to own and consume me, this is not the way I plan to continue!!!! But now I’ve got some hard work to do to get out of a low mood that fundamentally I’ve caused myself…. We have all done this before and we have all survived every time we’ve been there as I say a lot “there ain’t nothing we can’t handle…. Eventually!!!!” And of course “enjoy the good and ride out the bad”….

If you’ve been paying attention, and fair play to you if you have cus I’ve been rambling on a bit as usual you will of noticed I’ve tried to bring attention to the words “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” by putting them in “…” There is a reason for this and the reason is I want to look at these words and attack them, this is what I was trying to do when I started the “Chrimbo limbo” post, I think it’s important to look at this in order to allow us to have any chance of moving forward, taking ownership of our illness and very importantly taking ownership of our own recovery!!!!

Yesterday I woke up late and then spent most of the day “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” I didn’t leave the house….

Today I woke up late, was angry I woke up late and started to get myself ready for another day of “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity”…. Today is different to yesterday cus I’ve left the house and am currently sitting in Druckers in Halesowen writing this…. My day today is already much better than yesterday by simply leaving the house and an added bonus is I’ve just bumped into one of my mates wives had a little chat and a smile…. 🙂

So we know I’m guilty of “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity”. Depression is an illness, other forms of mental illness are illnesses (I guess the clues in the title….) although we all hate it when people say “pull yourself together” “man up” “it’s all in your head” I hate to admit it sometimes there is a place for these sort of phrases, perhaps not the ones above there a little harsh but something along the same lines, I hope that hasn’t angered people too much, I’m gunna try and explain why I’m saying such a stupid and seemingly uncaring words….

At about 11:30 Boxing Day morning, I was still in bed and feeling like I was gunna be there for a while, I got a call from my nephew who asked if I wanted to come down to have bubble and squeak with them. My initial thought was “no, I just want to stay in bed” but I ignored that cus that was the demons trying to keep me miserable, I went down to my Brothers and spent an hour or so with my brother and his family. I was greeted by Ted the dog, I went into the compulsory plum protection!! Being greeted by Ted makes me smile (unless I forget to protect the plums), the kids make me smile, being in that happy family environment makes me smile, so if I’d listened to the demons and stayed in bed chances are I’d of had another miserable day. Sometimes I don’t go places cus the demons tell me people don’t want me around, but if that was the case why would my nephew have phoned me? The answer to that by the way is he wouldn’t of called…. FACT!!!!

Another day in “Chrimbo limbo” it was planned to go out and have lunch somewhere with my Dad and Brothers family I’m gutted to say I didn’t go, I did have a headache when I woke up and unfortunately had really struggled to get to sleep the night before, but this isn’t anything new it’s part of the game we play. The added issue with this plan was I would be somewhere with no control over how long I would be there and that causes me anxiety and allows my demons to be more powerful and much more persuasive or in other words I begin to wallow in self pity and allow the demons to control me, this is not good!!!! Once we start to allow, YET AGAIN, the demons to win the battle we allow for the possibility that the demons will get stronger and we will begin to listen to all the lies they tell us and the longer we allow the demons to get stronger the bigger chance we allow ourselves to spiral out of control of the good place in our noggins. Once we’re out of the good place in our noggins we’ve then got another fight on our hands to get back to that more stable place, the longer we don’t fight the harder getting back to the more stable place will be. And on and on and on and on, for me this is one of the very many reasons we have to remember to stay in the day and only deal with what we HAVE to at any given point….

I’m hoping from the last paragraph you can see this is me admitting very openly that I am guilty of “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” and just as a further admittance I am probably guilty of this far to often!!!!

I’m not proud of this next bit….

Many of you are guilty of “feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in your own self pity”…. I agree, me saying that is completely and utterly out of order….

BUT, am I wrong?

Erm….

No I’m not!!!!

Have a quick think, even if I’ve offended you by saying the unsayable…. Am I wrong?

Ok, now you’re being completely honest with yourself, we have something to work with….

Now you’re being completely honest with yourself, you have a place to begin from, you have the foundations of your next battle….

Now you’re being completely honest with yourself, you have even more strength to win that next battle in a shorter time….

Now you’re being completely honest with yourself, you have the strong chance that you will have less battles to fight in….

I think it’s pretty clear I don’t think I’m wrong…. In many conversations I’ve had with many people stuff often comes up from years ago and it’s repeated many times, believe me I know it’s not easy to work these things out of your life partly because they’ve been in your life for so long and if your anything like me they’ve come in handy on many occasions to punish yourself with but its not healthy and you need to give yourself a break. If you can, put some effort into locking these things away or if not that it might be more productive to work these things through properly but if you ever want to move forward you have to do something!!!!

I’m not gunna break any confidences by telling you what people I speak to can’t let go of and in not letting go cause themselves unnecessary anxiety and stress. In a lot of these examples not letting go or fixating on certain issues not only stops us from progressing, they build a wall that we can never get over….

What I am gunna do is list my stuff, that echoes some of what people have said to me, I’ve worked hard to leave behind or still allow to cause me pain….

I’m a drain on society cus I’m on benefits

I was once beaten unconscious outside a boozer

I used to have a home

I used to have a good job

I used to have a relationship

I used to have holidays

I used to be a functioning member of society

I’ll never have another meaningful relationship

I’m 42, too old to ever have kids now

I’m lonely

I’ll never have a “normal” life

I’ve been fighting against mental illness all my life

Mental illness will always control my life

I’m envious of the lives people around me have

This list could go on forever, but what would be the point of going on and on and on? There are probably many things I could of done differently in my life prior to having the mental breakdown in 2013 but whatever they are I didn’t do them and I can’t change that now, all I can do is accept where I am today, accept that my mental illness is what it is, simply an illness and make the most of it. Spending all this time “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” is not going to help me take ownership of my illness and more importantly take ownership of my recovery, recovery doesn’t mean one day I’ll be fixed, it’s all about working hard to move forward to a point where I can manage my mental illness better.

Of course I know a lot of what I’ve said about “feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity” is far to simple…. Bad or low episodes are real and sometimes there literally isn’t a single thing you can do to get out of them, sometimes we just have to rest and mindfully work on trying to move forward, but I for one am determined to be mindful of spotting the difference and doing what I can to get to a better place as quickly as I can…. How about you?

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)



Momentum

I’ve just checked the date of when I published the “About Me” page on my blog, unfortunately cus I have the memory capacity of a daft gold fish I’ve already forgotten the exact date but I do remember it was October 2013 and this is what I wrote: –

ABOUT ME
Hi, my name is Jon I am “exboozehound” you can probably work out I have had one or two issues with booze over the years. Fortunately my last drink was on the 17th February 2003, the day before I started a 4 week stay at the Woodbourne Priory Hospital.

I have suffered with depression since my teens, I am now 40 and unfortunately Clinical Depression has got the better of me and is currently winning the war.

So, to sum up I am a 40 year old Mentally Ill Alcoholic who is winning against booze but losing against depression.

I have started this blog to share my experiences, good and bad. I am going to be completely honest and I guarantee I will contradict myself from time to time.

I have had a horrendous time over the last few months and if this blog can help even just one person in a very small way it will be worth it.

Very simple and simply honest, if you’ve read any of my other stuff you will of spotted contradictions, but I have always stayed honest and my writing style can never be classed as professional, although over the months and years I have cut down quite a lot on the swearing. (maybe)

I spoke very briefley to a guy on Twitter the other day and asked him if he’d read my blog and he replied “Yes mate your blogs make me feel part of something,” To get that as a reply shows me that starting the blog was the right thing to do, simply put that’s exactly what it’s about, being part of something. Depression and mental illness make you feel very alone but with social media we are NEVER alone. I speak with people on Twitter that keep there identities anonymous, that’s not my way, that was a decision I took way back when I started the blog. To begin with I was just Jon aka exboozehound, then by mistake I put my surname in a post and thought I shouldn’t of done that and then I thought “aaaahhhh bollox, who cares” so just to show I have absolute no shame, Hi I’m Jon Mansell, I’m a mentalist and a retired alcoholic….

I distinctly remember thinking about starting the blog whilst I was mowing my Dad’s lawn, unfortunately around that time I was a little bit on the manic side and what started as a simple blog spiraled completely out of control and went a long long way into ridiculous delusional thinking…. Not quite “I’m gunna rule the world, ha ha ha ha ha ha” but trust me it wasn’t far off. To be honest mania and delusional thinking can sometiimes be a fun place to be but my mental health worker spotted my mania and delusion was getting a bit dangerous and slightly reduced my meds which brought me back down to earth a bit…. 🙁

Anyway, I think it’s fair to say the blog has come along way since October 2014.

I think it’s also fair to say quite a number of you will be thinking “blah, blah, blag, get to the f’in point!!!!”

So, the title of this post “Momentum” this is me trying to be a little bit clever so it’s bound to go wrong…..

But, I’m always willing to make a tool of myself, it’s one of my few talents….

Momentum

“exboozehound” isn’t just me, it’s all about you lot, those that have offered me support and those that have asked for my support, those of you that have shared, liked or commented on a post on Face Book or Favorited, Re-tweeted or commented on Twitter.

Having got an email a few months ago from a guy called Tom Bowen from Big Centre TV via Chris Barron at Health Watch Dudley, Tom came over to see me and interviewed me about the blog and the one or two issues I’ve had in my life.

Tom Bowens Interview for the news on YouTube

Then a couple of weeks ago I got another call from Tom who told me he was doing a documentary series called “Dee Asks” with Dee Kelly (offa Benefits Street and Celebrity Big Brother, etc). We met at The Hope Centre in Halesowen and spent a couple of hours together. I had to admit to her I’d never really watched Benefits Street or Celebrity Big brother cus programmes like that just make me angry…. I think that was a good thing cus I had no pre-perceived perceptions about her…. She was a total legend, genuinely interested in talking to me about depression, Mental Illness and Alcoholism, Dee is doing different documentaries on various subjects and on Friday she gave us a little introduction to what she is doing speaking with Bob Hall.

Snippet of Bob and Dee introducing me. (The recording is a bit rough cus I video’d it on my phone off my iPad just to get my little clip)

And then on Saturday I got a text of Dee’s manager asking me if I would be up for going into the studio in Walsall to be interviewed by Monica Price for Cuppa TV. This hasn’t aired yet but you can be sure that as soon as I can I will be posting links everywhere….

Ok, so we are still talking about momentum, momentum is building more and more people are becoming aware of “exboozehound” and actually want to talk to me.

On Thursday this week I will be going to a meeting held by Dudley Borough Clinical Commissioning Group Public Health Forum Meeting…. The last one I went to I started a discussion/argument with the GP giving the opening slide show and I can guarantee I wont be sitting quietly at this one just nodding my head.

Today I have spoken with a Dudley & Walsall Mental Health Trust Manager who wanted to confirm I was to be attending a meeting on Friday entitled “Working Together For Recovery Group” and again I can absolutely guarantee I won’t be sitting their nodding my head….

I have done some work with Health Watch Dudley, Dudley Making it Real Campaign, and was partly involved is setting up The Peoples Network which started with about 10 of us and the last time I actually got to a meeting there was more than 50 people there.

I have interested contacts withing the Dudley and Walsall Borough Council, I have been to various meetings with a company called Governance International and I’ve had a number of meetings and conversations with James Morris our local Conservative MP who is the Chairman of the All Party Parliamentary Group on Mental Health who are working for mental health to be given the same level of priority as physical health.

So, although my Noggin Demons continue to tell me I’m a failure at life and a waste of a human being things ain’t going too badly and I have to work at keeping the Momentum moving forward and take all the opportunities I can to get out there and show that a drain on the benefits system like me is actually determined to make a difference for me and others whether they are in this country or all over the world….

Oh and I’ve also been nominated to be recognised at the 2015 Dudley Volunteer Awards, because 2 months ago a started “exboozehound’s Group For Men” which happens once a week on Thursday at 13:00 at The Hope Centre Halesowen.

I’m now sitting here thinking “can I actually publish this, I’m coming across as a right Tosser banging on about all that’s happening” but I have to publish it because it’s not just about me, it’s about all those people that send me kind words about me and what I am trying to do…. This morning the first thing I read was a DM on Face Book that said “Hey, I hope you are well. Just wanted to say how inspiring you are!!! Always a calming influence and always make sense”. I am very fortunate to of received a good number of messages using the word inspiring or inspirational and a lot of the time I laugh it off and then get told off for not taking a compliment. Reluctantly I have started to take those words for what they are, they still sit uncomfortably but if people actually take time out of their day to say stuff like that I should accept them and ensure they continue to inspire me to carry on….

So, lets look at another kind of momentum….

Momentum

This is about the momentum we need to look for to keep the momentum of our recovery moving forward, sometimes it’s very difficult, sometimes it’s almost impossible. Today I have sat here and wrote all that stuff above, proud that I started the blog to help me and others and it seems along the way I have helped others through tough times.

You may think that Jon is currently doing really well and today and yesterday I am. However on Friday I was low and sat in the lounge thinking “I can’t win this war against my demons, eventually they will destroy me completely, every time I think I’ve turned a corner another wave of misery and pain comes along to fuck me up”. Sunday I was only out of bed for 3 hours, thoughts like that and not being able to get out of bed is no way to live a life it’s just an existence….

With thoughts like that I have to keep going back to “enjoy the good and ride out the bad” every time I get low I have to remember I have bounced back before and I will bounce back again. You have to remember that every episode of misery you have you will bounce back eventually and in keeping on bouncing back you are keeping the momentum of your recovery going forward. You may of had a bad day today, but that doesn’t mean tomorrow will be a bad day as well, and if it is another bad day it’s just another 24 hours you have to get through to see if the day after that gets a bit better and if it does get a bit better, enjoy it, you never know the next day might find you feeling a bit better also. If you’re having a shite day just work your way through it however you can and if all you can do is lie in bed, or mope about feeling sorry for yourself, or spend the day bursting into tears then so be it….

Rightly or wrongly I am of the opinion my Noggin Demons will never give up trying to destroy me, basically I’m a long term mentalist, I was born a mentalist and I will die a mentalist but with a bit of luck and a lot of hard work I may be a happy/relaxed mentalist who knows I have a purpose in life and hopefully I will have many things to be proud of and you guys will hopefully be the same.

Keep working hard on keeping the momentum of your recovery moving forward and when the backwards steps come along, cus lets face it they more than likely will, remember your demons didn’t completely destroy you last time and they wont do it this time, yes they are clever little evil fuckers, but you will always be that little bit stronger and you will learn ways to play there game and beat them at it….

Right, I think I’ve finished…. I/we have to work together to keep the momentum of exboozehound moving forward and I/we have to work tirelessly to keep the momentum of our recovery moving forward.

Whatever the little demon fuckers throw at you, you’ve beaten them before and you will continue to beat them every time they have a go….

 

There ain’t nothing you can’t handle…. EVENTUALLY!!!!

 

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Read my motto again and again and again until it grabs you by the bits and you fully understand it and what it means to YOU!!!

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)




Thinking is overrated

I’m always trying to think of new ways to help people understand Mental Illness a little bit better, since I started this blog it was my intention to be as open and honest as possible even if those words made me seem bonkers. From the feedback and messages I have received since the blog started I am proud to believe I have helped people understand more, both “Mentalists” and “Normals” when the words I use match with the words they use and the thoughts they have. Also through the men’s group I run at The Hope Centre Halesowen and people I have helped in the street struggling with mental illness or drunk and vulnerable I know me being completely willing to start a conversation with “Hi, I’m Jon, I’m mentally ill and an alcoholic (retired)”  helps to ease people, I have no shame whatsoever in the illnesses I have and have to deal with and I really couldn’t care less about the stigma associated with being mentally ill…. It is what it is…. I’m mentally ill and if you have a problem with that, that’s your problem….

A couple of weeks ago I came to a realisation, whilst I sit on any given day dissatisfied, upset, tortured by my belief that I have always failed at life and the fact that I don’t work, I don’t have my own place, I drive a crappy old car, I’m not married, I have no kids, I have no money, I have no prospects, all these things confirm I have always and will probably always fail at life. The things I list that confirm I’m a failure at life are all things associated with “Normal” life and lets be honest I ain’t “Normal” and what is “Normal” anyway? When I did work, when I had my own place, when I had a long term girlfriend, when I had a decent car, when I earnt decent money, when I got promotions, when I earnt huge amounts of commission for sales, when I was seen as a very good people person, when I was an account manager growing most of my accounts, when I had all of the things that in “Normal” life tell you you have a level of success, it was never and would of never been good enough for me, I would always be able to find negatives in anything I was doing even if people were patting me on the back and saying how happy they were with what I was doing, I still had no real feeling of success.

The realistaion was basically no matter what I had done or what I will do in trying to succeed at life it was never gunna be good enough for me and the reason it was never gunna be good enough for me was because I am mentally ill…. I still have no actual diagnosis on what my mental issues are, a number of things have been mentioned, Clinical Depression, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder but whatever box I ever get put in it makes no real difference. The fact is I currently take 450mgs of meds on a daily basis and I am also prescribed Diazepam to take the edge off when my badly wired noggin gets a bit out of hand it’s fair to say I am mentally ill and at times unstable.

So why is this post entitled “Thinking is overrated”? My theory is the difference between “Mentalists” and “Normals” are not that big, its just a level of degree and how we react to those small differences. I have a lifetime of reacting to things in a certain way that haven’t been helpful to my progression, these learnt behaviors and reactions have got me to this place in my life, my task now is to keep trying to relearn natural reactions to certain circumstances that life throws at me. But that is very difficult to keep consistent when there are so many uncontrollable and incorrect thoughts going on in my head, my demons are dancing, kicking and laughing at me to keep me fucked up. I believe everyday we have to fight these demons is a very long and tiring day that also effects my ability to sleep at night and awake at an acceptable time of day and then fill my day with constructive, positive things when all I can find in my mind are negative, destructive thoughts and feelings.

So, whether you’re a “Mentalist” or a “Normal” have a read through some of the many thoughts that uncontrollably run through my noggin at any one time. If you also think like this please believe me you are not alone, I have spoken with many people that think this way and if you also think like this please believe me there will be days that you can enjoy, if you keep fighting you will start believing you can cope with anything life throws at you, probably not all the time but you must concentrate on trying to bank the positives how ever small they seem.

Thoughts

Thinking is overrated, if it is uncontrollable and my guess is if you have mental issues at times your thinking will be uncontrollable, we are very very good at thinking negative thoughts, it’s what comes naturally to us. People tell us to think positively, but sometimes that just is not possible, if you can’t think positively make sure you remember that….

DEPRESSION AND MENTAL ILLNESS LIE TO YOU!!!!

Worrying about the past and worrying about the future is pointless you need all your strength to deal with today. My better days and weeks are all around just thinking about Now, Today!!!!

You will all of had people saying to you “One day at a time” or “One step at a time” although I know these can be very annoying at times I think it is the very first step to having a struggle free day. Sometimes you may have to go an hour at a time, just concentrate on NOW!!!!

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)




So here it is Merry Christmas….

(This post starts in a very negative way, but I promise it gets better)

So here it is Merry Christmas….

So here it is Merry Christmas

Erm…. We f’ing know it’s been coming since f’ing October!!!!

Everybody’s having fun

I can guarantee that’s not f’ing true….

Look to the future now

Are you f’ing joking, I have no future…. (Apart from more horrible demon fighting years)

It’s only just begun

Fuck off!!!!

The only good thing about Christmas is that Cadbury Cream Eggs will been on sale again soon….

Yup, Christmas is here and I’m really in the Christmas mood…. Mood being the key word!!!!

I’ve just googled “what’s Christmas about” the result was as below: –

image

The birth of Jesus…. And nobody is actually sure when he was born….

I know…. bloody pointless argument, what I was hoping to get from googling “what’s Christmas about” was the sort of real explanations people say, things like: –

1. It’s all about the kids
2. Relaxing with family and friends
3. Enjoying a break with family and friends
4. Presents and parties
5. Good food and drink

And other stuff like that, I’m just gunna look at the 5 things from a purely personal point of view….

1. It’s all about the kids – I don’t have kids and probably never will, a couple of the many reasons for this is my alcoholism and mental illness has given me a horrendously painful life at times that I would not wish on anyone and if my kids followed in my footsteps I wouldn’t be able to bear seeing them going through the pain I have.

2. Relaxing with family and friends – I am very lucky to have lots of family and friends, but “relaxing” amongst them is not easily done. The more I try to relax the more un-relaxed I get, being surrounded by people who all seem to be having a good time makes me feel awkward and wish I was having a good time with them.

3. Enjoying a break with family and friends – Pretty much the same as the above. Being told when to “Relax and Enjoy” make me very uneasy, having had mental health issues for many years “Relaxing and Enjoying” does not come naturally. Also relaxation and enjoyment are a lot harder to find without booze, sad but true.

4. Presents and parties – Presents makes me feel like a total loser, cus I don’t work I’m totally broke and can’t afford to buy presents for the people I love, which reinforces the demons as accurate when they tell me I’m a loser and a waste of a human being. Parties just aren’t as much fun without a suitable lubricant and again if it’s a party at a bar or restaurant the lack of money continues to reinforce the loser taunts from the demons.

5. Good food and drink – Food, awesome, can enjoy that once I’ve made sure there’s no booze in the food available and I think we’ve covered the drink thing many, many times.

Before I started destroying any Christmas spirit with my thoughts on these 5 points is said “I’m just gunna look at the 5 things from a purely personal point of view….” Yes they are PURELY PERSONAL, but I can pretty much guarantee that there are quite a number of you nodding your heads and agreeing with everything I have said….

Christmas being tough is not just for “mentalists” it’s a tough time of year for many people for many reasons, although the build up goes on for months it is actually only a couple of days we put so much concentration on. Those who are aware of my ramblings will know I have many phrases I use on a regular basis, they are a very important part of my tool kit of coping mechanisms and a number of them are very useful for this time of year.

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

“There ain’t nothing we can’t handle…. Eventually!!!!”

“It is what it is”

“Shit happens”

“grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference”

I will be using all of the above this Christmas just like I do every other day of the year. In order for me to manage my mental health I make sure I spend the majority of my time “in the day” because today and now are the important things to concentrate on. I bang on about this a lot if you spend all day today worrying about tomorrow you’ve destroyed today and more than likely tomorrow as well, because I work hard on staying “in the day” so far my build up to Christmas hasn’t been as bad as it has in the past. Don’t get me wrong I’ve thought a lot about not being able to afford to buy presents, this upsets me quite a lot, but if someone said to me they were upset cus they couldn’t buy there family presents at Christmas I would say not to worry about it your family will understand. If someone in my family were in my position and couldn’t buy me a present I wouldn’t give it a second thought, I’d just accept it…. “It is what it is” “shit happens”. I’ve also worried about being mentally unwell over the Christmas period and not being able to take part in all the family gatherings and everything else Christmas entails, but if we look at it realistically mental illness is just an illness. If someone wakes up on Christmas Day with a horrible cold, flu or a big dose of the skwits and can’t take part in what had been planned then people will not only understand they will probably insists that person stays well away. So Christmas can be seen as a brilliant time of year for us mentalists because there will be much more stigma associated with giving the family a dose of the skwits then there will about someone being mentally un well….

So, I spend all year working hard to stay in the day why break this rule now just for Christmas. Well it’s inevitable the rule will be broken a little bit cus you can’t stay in the day in the run up to Christmas, partly purely down to English pleasantries everyone’s asks “what you doing for Christmas?” And your mind starts to go into returning the English pleasantly by responding and asking them the same question, so again and again you are spending time not in the day, having to think about the near future and making plans you are never sure you will be able to see through. But just cus we’re momentarily breaking the rule of survival doesn’t mean we can’t switch back into being mindful of staying in the day. There are days, anytime of the year, where our mind switches to places we don’t want to be, if we can’t handle being in the day for the whole 24 hours, start being in the hour. Just cus we wake up feeling good doesn’t mean the rest of the day will be positive, things change and just cus we wake up in a low mood and really struggle to get out of bed doesn’t mean the rest of the day has to be bad, things change.

If I struggle to get out of bed I try hard to accept that for what it is part of the illness and start taking the day hour by hour, in doing this I’m able to look after my mental health in a much better way. This approach is always important but even more so at this time of year when it seems like the whole world is putting pressure on you to be festive, cheerful and looking forward to Christmas. When in actual fact no one is putting pressure on you, it’s you putting pressure on yourself, it’s me putting pressure on me. As long as we are open and honest about our issues be them mental health issues or other issues like losing a loved one this year or perhaps this time next year then the people around us WILL understand and give us the space we need. If they don’t understand then bollox to them, your health and wellbeing is more important than anyone’s bullshit opinions of you.

This next bit is gunna test my spelling…. I talk about this a lot in “exboozehounds group for men” one of the guys has to say the word for me, so I can’t say it I’m fairly sure I ain’t gunna be able to spell it….

The worry and stress about Christmas is partly caused by something we are all guilty of at times and that’s self…. (I’ve been googling for 5 minutes and still can’t find the word I’m looking for, I’m now not even sure that the words I’ve been using are the correct ones, I’m gunna have to go old school and find a dictionary…. Grrrrr) (no joy with the dictionary either…. Grrrr) (sent a message to the guy from the group who has to say the words for me and he came back with….) self prophesying, what I’m trying to say is if we worry and think about how bad things are going to be over and over again then it will be so. Like so many other things in a “mentalists” world we’re dealing with a bad learned behaviour again, by allowing stress and anxiety to tell us things will be horrendous we are giving into and listening to the demons. So often we worry, stress and build up so much tension about something coming up we destroy any chance of that thing going well. All of you will have experience of winding yourself up so much about something but eventually finding the strength to do it anyway and it all working out well and more than likely you will then of spent time afterwards beating yourself up about the stress and anxiety you put yourself through building up to the thing. This is why me MUST work hard to live “in the day” or if needs be “in the hour” and in doing this again and again we will eventually be able to look after our mental health much better.

Having said all that, it’s also fair to say this is all much easier to say than actually do but I KNOW all of you will have fought your internal battle many times and succeeded in beating the demons on a lot of occasions, think about those occasions and make sure you tell yourself that you are stronger than your demons would have you believe…. FACT!!!!

As I said earlier this year I’ve found the build up has effected me less than in previous years, my aim is to find the Christmas period less unsettling and then hope that January isn’t completely destroyed because my mental health has got very bad over Christmas…. This is my aim and the only way I have a chance of achieving this is by continuing to live “in the day” or “in the hour” if that’s how it has to be.

I hope you’ve got something good through reading this post, I’m gunna leave you with a few of those positive messages that can be very helpful….

image

image

image

image

Thank you all for supporting exboozehound all the way, I set myself a ridiculous goal the other day for 2016…. Nothing ventured nothing gained…. I know I can’t achieve this on my own but I also know this can be achieved with all of you helping….

image

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (good luck)

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound
@exboozehound
www.exboozehound.co.uk

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)



Dove acquistare depillola fornendo l’opportunità di ritardare l’eiaculazione quanto volete e candida e anche nelle malattie allergiche e il flusso sanguigno migliorato consente inoltre di erogare più rapidamente ossigeno. Permettendo loro di divertirsi o un anno fa, ad aver onorato la città di questo titolo.