I have a feeling this post is gunna be a complete pile of shite cus my head ain’t in the right place but I need to post to get it out, sorry.
I know I have to see a psychiatrist cus I’m a mentalist but I just don’t think the build up before the appointment and the immense disappointment after the appointment is worth it. My NEW noggin doc is a good bloke and he knows his game but it has been 2 months between appointments and yesterday we spoke for 26 minutes during which he spoke for about 2 of them. He asked me to make another appointment for 6 to 8 weeks time but I couldn’t cus he is completely and utterly fully booked and just to fuck me off a little bit more when he writes me a prescription for the new meds I’ve gotta take my file has still got the wrong fucking address on it. I have advised my address change many times to the NHS.
Although to be fair to the NHS I have advised my address change to the DWP many times but they still have it wrong and during a conversation yesterday, a call I had to make, I was read a warning about action being taken against me if I failed to provide up to date details…. I made a phone call to them because 52 weeks on I haven’t had my interview I should of had after 13 weeks as they have a bit of a back log…. Can I take action against them for not providing me with up to date details????
I need to stress that I like the new noggin doc, like I liked my last one who I saw twice before I was swapped to another one because the original one was a temporary measure, a temporary measure that no one could be arsed to tell me about. This will come as no great shock when I say the issue is the broken, pathetic, not fit for purpose NHS system it is broken and it is un fixable!!!! And it’s not just the mental health side that’s broken, oooohh nnooooo, after what I witnessed in Truro hospital last week and some of the many many other stories I have been told recently….
In the past I have made sure I stressed how good the people within the system are and in the main they are but the nurses on duty, (I’d say looking after but that would be bullshite!!) I wouldn’t let them look after a bucket of shite…. The doctor I spoke with was fantastic but the people in charge of making sure my nan was comfortable and not in too much pain were useless to the point that the buzzer each patient should have was still wrapped around the top of the bed before someone overheard my mom saying to nan that she should push the buzzer if she needed anything….
I don’t know why I asked the noggin doc yesterday about a diagnosis but I did and he gave me a vague different diagnosis to the vague diagnosis the last noggin doc gave me after I had to ask. I’m not gunna ask again cus it really doesn’t matter…. As I’ve said before I believe what noggin docs do is mainly guess work, they chuck a few pills at you and see what effect they have on you, then they find out that effect 8 weeks later at the next 25 minute appointment. Problem is, this process is fucking with my head and fucking with my life, I want to start making some more positive constructive steps forward to get back into the real world but it’s just not possible!!!! And it’s not possible because of the NHS, yes I am getting some help from them now but it is far too late, veeeeery slow and veeeeery painful and having a veeeeery negative effect on me and those around me.
How the fuck is a noggin doc supposed to make a specific diagnosis or put together a useful care plan when they only see you for 25 minutes every 8 weeks. The answer to this question is They can’t, so you end up like a fucking puppet hanging from strings unable to move your body and life forward yourself…. It’s an absolute disgrace!!!!
I used the word negative a few lines ago, this is a very negative moment in my joke of a life and if I wasn’t as strong as I am fuck knows what would happen, but because of me, because I am selfish, because I am stubborn, because I’m a fucking determined c**t I will spin this negative to a positive and I will use it to give me more determination to make a difference, I will use that determination to make sure I fix myself cus let’s face it the NHS CANT BE ARSED AND HAVENT GOT ANYWHERE NEAR THE RESOURCES THEY NEED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, ALL THEY DO IS MAKE ME WORSE AND PUT ME IN DANGER.watch The Belko Experiment movie online now
Some of the above is a little unfair to the people who I see on a regular basis these days, but I’m pretty sure they would agree with most of it, off the record of course….
So where has this weeks NHS appointment left me?
Sitting on my own writing this, mobile switched off, logged out of Twitter, logged out of Facebook. I can’t face logging into either of them and those who know me will know how often I am usually on them both.
So thank you once again NHS your help has left me isolated and not wanting to communicate with the outside world…. That’s progress!!!!
I’ve now got to see if I can work out how to post links to this post without fully logging in to Facebook and Twitter, I know it’s possible but my head is currently fucked up I can’t thunk.
Thanks NHS, thanks for absolutely NOTHING!!!
Also I would like to say a special thank you to EBE’s for treating me like a c**t as well
Keep Going 😉
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