Regrets

“its better to regret the things you have done than the things you haven’t”

This was the motto I decided to live my life by over 11 years ago whilst in the Woodbourne Priory, Booze Clinic on my Booze cruise to end all Booze crews, without Booze 🙁

When I analyse this motto (by the way I know its not the exact motto but I don’t care, I thought about googling the correct motto, the old Jon would of but the new Jon knows there’s more important things to worry about!!!) sometimes it makes sense and other times it seems like blox. But now, after yesterday evening it has a new conatation (bad spelling, maybe wrong word, dont care 🙂 ) 

Simply….

“its better to regret”

I regret last night, but the alternative is much worse and NEVER an option!!!! Not gunna explain that, “It is what it is”

I regret but I don’t and wont feel guilt, guilt is a waste of energy, for me if you feel guilt about something do something about it or “build a bridge and get over it” (words pinched from an amazing person, you know who you are x).

Last night for many many reasons Mental Illness got hold of me and controlled me, I fought it for hours and tried to stay in my logical and wise mind (Mindfulness) but in the end my emotional mind got hold of me and made a bit of a scene (mahoosive understatement!!)

So, i’m not going to build a bridge I’m going to do something about it.

If you were in Russells Hall A&E last night SORRY!! That sorry is for everyone, Staff, Patients and definitely for the three security guards, in particular for the dark haired one who appeared second and thank you to all three of you. I hope one day I will be able to meet you face to face and say sorry shake your hands and say thank you. To the reception ladies (probably not the correct title, sorry) you were amazing and I know you will continue to be amazing!!

However my apology is not for the two Noggin Docs…. You were pathetic, maybe you were trying to get a reaction from me but if you weren’t you need some new books!! I have now met some really amazing book monkeys but you two are the reason these words exist and will remain in my vocabulary.

Just as an aside the vending machine by the door owes me £1.80.

Will I regret this post? Probably

Is it what it is? Yup

Does shit happen? Yup

Am I calm today? Yup

Will I come out the other side? Yup

Why am I posting this? Now there’s a good question!!!!

I am posting this because anyone out there that is ever considering the alternative option, the one I wasn’t going to explain but will now….

“I’d be better off dead”

 

If you EVER think that, and I know you do, please KNOW it’s ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS!! You have fought and survived this far and there isn’t ANYTHING that can make that thought correct, there isn’t ANYTHING that you cant get through and come out the other side of, I promise you 100% ANYTHING is recoverable and you will get through it, FACT, FACT, FACT, FACT, FACT, FACT!

 

“From adversity comes strength”

 

Thank you bro for helping me through last night, you were and are amazing!!!! I will keep your texts forever to remind me of what an Amazing, Loving, Intelligent, Strong, person you are and how fortunate and blessed I am to have a bro and a friend like you. If I could make one request though, please stop dressing smart cus you put me to shame and make me look like Shrek!! 🙁 😉 x

I am changing my sign off from Keep Smiling to Keep Going because although smiling is good it can also be so false!!!!

Keep Going 😉

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