Unstable stability

Very soon it will be 2015 and although I know I have come a long way in 2014 the last couple of days have made me realise just how far I have to go to return to a “normal” life or indeed if I will ever have a “normal” life again. I didn’t get out of bed until about 14:30 today, I didn’t leave the house yesterday and if I’m honest I’m not looking forward to leaving the house tomorrow. But tomorrow I have to leave the house cus I’ve got an appointment with my mental health worker at 14:30 and I’m seeing my psychiatrist at 15:00.

I have definitely come a long way and although everything seems to be moving in the right direction I hate how close the pain of mental illness is to the surface, I hate how easily my stability can be derailed, I hate many things, including my lack of concentration and I definitely hate how much hard work keeping on keeping on is. I know I’m strong enough to keep going and I know 100% I will NEVER give up but I’m very tired from the constant battle.

I know 2015 will be a good year for me, it has to be cus I can’t have another shite year as I have nothing else to lose. I’m know where near that rock bottom that people like to talk about but even though I have come a long way I really haven’t even started the journey of recovery cus that can’t start until my stability is actually stable….Watch Full Movie Online Streaming Online and Download

Short and not so sweet post, not even sure it is worth it.

Having dips is good and bad, the good bit is it reminds you how good the good is when it’s good but the bad bit is it also reminds you how bad the bad bits are when its bad.

Tired of the pain and the ups n downs? Absolutely!!!!

But I KNOW there ain’t nothing I can’t handle…. EVENTUALLY!!!!

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound

Oh and don’t forget my Thingymajig (memoir/book)

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6 thoughts on “Unstable stability”

  1. Hey matey, really good to hear from you. I love hearing from you, the good, the bad and the downright ugly….it’s important to let it out and share it amongst those who care about you. I wish I had a magic wand.
    Good to know that you have appointments tomorrow.
    They will be an important focus.
    I, for one, will be thinking of you and hoping things look brighter very soon. Love and a big hug. xx

    1. Hiya Judy, I wish I had a magic wand as well but unfortunately they don’t exist 🙁 . We know ups n downs happen and we know I’ll bounce back 🙂 .

      Love and a big hug greatfully received xx

      Keep going 😉

  2. Hi Jon,

    Not sure I’ve ever commented on your actual blog before, rather than through Twitter but wanted to say I think you’ve done brilliantly since I first read your posts in about Feb this year 🙂

    The way you’ve tackled your own MH and the NHS are inspiring and I know you’ve been a great help to many including myself!

    I know I’ve said I’m not a great fan of duvet days because I’m not sure how helpful they are long term, but mate, if anyone deserves a break it’s you. Everyone stumbles when they’re learning to walk, and even if you fall on your arse, it doesn’t mean you have to start crawling all over again. You are awesome, and don’t you forget it 😉

    This is the year we’re getting our shit together… I can feel it 😉

    1. Hi Bell, thank you for your kind words and your text this morning xx
      I really hope I have helped you and others cus that’s what exboozehounds about, this latest post might seem a bit woe is me but it’s really just about being honest, I’ve had a blip as we both know they happen.
      Defo time to get out shit together!!!

      Keep going 🙂

  3. Hi Jon,

    Look you have done really well and you know damned well that 15 is going to rock for you. Why? Because you are you it is simple as that.

    You mention normal, what the hell is normal? One person’s normal aint going to be mine or yours or the bloke next doors normal is it?

    Your normal is your normal Jon, they are your highs and lows and they exist to you in your normality. Enjoy those highs and kick those lows in the backside.

    Jon, thank you for your help this year, I was pretty close to losing the plot as you know but with your help and just being there, well I made it through.

    Hugs xx
    Robbie and Awesome lady

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